Saturday, January 19, 2013


If you take a little effort to look at my sidebar, you will realize that I have removed my Facebook link. And if you take another extra effort to click at the one which linked to Twitter, you will also realize that I have set my tweets to private (in case you haven't follow me before). No, I don't want to hear the overused joke 'do-you-tweet-nuclear-launch-code' anymore, but, yes, I will give you the answer (let's pretend you're  wondering) why. Drum-roll, please.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013


I was riffling through my old posts in this blog (it's my 8th year on this blog, can you believe that?) and I found a post from, well, not too long ago. 

I couldn't stress this enough to you: I always write fiction. If it's labeled under the word Scribble, or 10 Hari Menulis Flash-Fiction in my early days, then you should be sure that it's totally, purely, incontrovertibly a fiction. So please don't go asking me if that was my real story or not, or 'kepo'-ing me, or teasing me then saying I was 'galau'. Because I wasn't. It was a form of expressing feelings, just like people singing. For me, it's writing. Yes I did sing too, but my singing was terrible--horrible.

Sayang, Kamu Tidak Tahu wasn't something I could rephrase, something I could not write all over again. It's a one-time feeling; I wrote it without pausing, and there it was. That time was an exception. I did include some personal story in there more than just a tiny bit. Usually, I included some personal experience, really tiny so if you know me you wouldn't realize I had included it in there, but enough to make me wrote it as if it was real. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

Stockholm Syndrome #1

“Kenapa Stockholm?” Adalah pertanyaan pertama Axel padaku setelah ia menyambutku dan kami berkenalan singkat di depan gerbang kedatangan bandara.

“Aku tidak tahu,” jawabku, mengerjap saat menyaksikan uap keluar dari mulutku saat berbicara. “Kurasa aku hanya... tiba.”

Axel menatapku, kurasa, dengan campuran perasaan antara kesal dan prihatin. Axel Lamont berada di pertengahan umur dua puluhnya, tinggi tegap, pirang, dan harus kuakui, terbilang cukup tampan diantara pria Skandinavia lainnya. Entah karena nasibnya yang sedang buruk atau memang takdirnya sebagai bawahan yang harus selalu patuh, ia ditugaskan oleh atasannya, salah seorang bos di perusahaan asuransi yang secara kebetulan adalah teman mayaku, untuk menjadi pemandu wisata selama aku berada di Stockholm.

Wednesday, January 02, 2013


“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? 
It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. 
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. 
They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. 
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. 
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. 
It hurts. 
Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. 
It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. 
I hate love.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones