Saturday, September 10, 2016

Catching Up


It's almost one full year since the last time I wrote here. I wish I could find a proper excuse for such long inactivity, but I don't, so I won't talk about that. After all, it's no longer a secret that I am lazy.

Many things have changed from last year. For one, I no longer worked in the office I've been working for the past two years and four months. And no, I didn't get fired: I am going back to school!

It's honestly a little hard to believe. I was skeptical, and honestly, I still am. Even my friend questioned my eligibility and said directly to my face, "How did you, of all people?" (He's joking, but I did cuss at him for that anyway.)

Another friend asked me once, "I didn't know you're the type to continue your study. I thought you'd like working more." (Oh, if only you knew the kind of condition I worked in.)

Or something with more obvious sinister, sadly from quite a number of people, "Why do you even bother? You're a woman, working close to home. What more are you searching for? Give chance to your peers who are still far away from their hometowns." (The amount of ignorance in this had me literally shaking my head in disgust.)

But, here I am. Well, not exactly "here" because I'm currently at home enjoying a short holiday, but the fact that I made it to be back in college. And honestly, I am a bit scared.

Remember a few years ago I made a long rant about me not getting accepted to the only college I wanted to get into? And how I suddenly ended up in my current almamater. Which I didn't feel very fond of, because I was young and full of myself, and also because I didn't know better. 

This time, it's different. I wanted to get accepted, me, with my own conscious decision. I chose to be way out of my comfort zone. Living alone, supporting myself, a small town girl in a big city that contains big dreams. Although, I do admit a struggle. I'm not a very bright person, and I happen to be surrounded by the brightest people I ever met, so now I'm falling behind. I need the extra efforts to be equal, but as the lazy person that I am, it will be a hard task to do. I need to motivate myself more. And that's why I'm here now, haha.

So, yeah. I'm glad to be back, but it ain't no vacation. I have to put in actual effort and strive. It's not like I feel the need to prove them that I deserve my place here, but I believe it would be nice if I do.

.... Okay. This seems too mellow. I need to talk about something else more uplifting like, well, my best friends are here too! I even got into the same class as one of them, which I was angry about, but now I'm learning to accept and be grateful about it. Because to think about it, he lives far from campus so if we didn't get into the same class we probably wouldn't get to meet each other that much.

My other best friend stays in the same dorm as I do, but soon she will be moving out. I wanted to move out too! But she chooses to move to Bintaro, a good 45-minutes away from campus, and I don't think I'm ready for such commitment especially if I get 3 days of morning classes a week. But I don't know, since my two best friends are going to live there I will probably change my mind. I'm easy to give in if people persuade me enough.

There are so many things I want to talk about, to fill in the past year that I didn't write in here. Like how I fell to new guys (all six of them!) and how I was willing to take a leave from work to meet them in Singapore. I went to South Korea too, when it was autumn and beautiful falling leaves were everywhere, and that's when I realized I fell in love with the aforementioned guys and the country they're living in. I also raised a new cat (technically, my mom raised him), an all black cat named Justin Bieber, who later I realized was actually a fill-in of me and my brother who went leaving for college and thus left my parents alone in our home.

I might be coming back to tell more of those stories, or bringing even more stories, but if I were not, let's just assume I was studying really hard. (Probably not, but a girl can hope.)

See you later, I hope we all can be better.

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